what a tease.

J: Only a very few people know that fact about me.
me: What?
J: What I just told you. I'm not going to tell you again. If you really want to know then you'll remember.

3037.

They're advertising something for 3037.
That's over a hundred years from now.
Who's ever gonna know?
Everyone's gonna be dead.
That's crazy, right?
Babe?
That's crazy.

J no longer just talks in his sleep. He's reached a new level where he straight up tries to have conversations with me while he's fully asleep. He repeats,"babe?," until I answer him and if I don't he says, "fine. Just ignore me." This guy. Never a dull moment.

dance & bidding

Do you have to do a dance? That'd be funny if you had to do a dance like that. Haha!

Is this the place where parents and kids do the bidding? For the table? That'd be a nice bet, no?

you're a gardener.

Well, you are. Aren't you?
You're so concerned about people saying you're a gardener but you are a gardener. You know what I mean? C'mon bro. Right?

no need for the 'tude.

I never cry. Right?
I need you to stop telling people I cry.
I never cry.

Just making sure. No need for the 'tude.

Does that bother you?

no comment.

(Laugh)

(Snort)

I can't believe he came out of his ass!

(Laugh)

He came out of his ass!

he later told me that he was dreaming about a Simpson's episode. 

steal mine. i'll steal yours.

What do you think that is?
What is it?
Maybe we can run by it and see what it is.
He probably stole mine.
Little bastard.
Steal mine.
I'll steal yours.
Right?

gold shoes.

So they were on business.
80 million dollars for a wedding?
That'll do it to you!
18 million dollars for shoes?
Those are pretty heavy shoes.
It's because they're made out of gold.
No.
I'll just paint mine gold.
I don't have 18 million dollars.
They won't know the difference.
You don't even have to paint it real gold.

again with the pants.

Ha! They charge you to wear sweatpants at that restaurant.
So boujie. 7 dollars? Wear no pants, right?

pants.

5 year property with double decline.
That's how you capitalize fixed assets.
Wow. I almost forgot my pants.
Ha! That would've been bad.

honeymoon.

my husband is the most hilarious person i know. not only does he make me laugh at every waking moment, he also manages to crack me up while he's asleep, far away in dreamland. J talks in his sleep almost every night. it's too wonderful and witty to keep it to myself so i'm starting a blog- w/ his permission, of course.
enjoy!

about 3 months ago

I just learned that a honeymoon has 4 people.
How can I interview 4 people?
It doesn't make sense.
(laugh)
That would be nice.