no comment.

(Laugh)

(Snort)

I can't believe he came out of his ass!

(Laugh)

He came out of his ass!

he later told me that he was dreaming about a Simpson's episode. 

steal mine. i'll steal yours.

What do you think that is?
What is it?
Maybe we can run by it and see what it is.
He probably stole mine.
Little bastard.
Steal mine.
I'll steal yours.
Right?

gold shoes.

So they were on business.
80 million dollars for a wedding?
That'll do it to you!
18 million dollars for shoes?
Those are pretty heavy shoes.
It's because they're made out of gold.
No.
I'll just paint mine gold.
I don't have 18 million dollars.
They won't know the difference.
You don't even have to paint it real gold.

again with the pants.

Ha! They charge you to wear sweatpants at that restaurant.
So boujie. 7 dollars? Wear no pants, right?

pants.

5 year property with double decline.
That's how you capitalize fixed assets.
Wow. I almost forgot my pants.
Ha! That would've been bad.

honeymoon.

my husband is the most hilarious person i know. not only does he make me laugh at every waking moment, he also manages to crack me up while he's asleep, far away in dreamland. J talks in his sleep almost every night. it's too wonderful and witty to keep it to myself so i'm starting a blog- w/ his permission, of course.
enjoy!

about 3 months ago

I just learned that a honeymoon has 4 people.
How can I interview 4 people?
It doesn't make sense.
(laugh)
That would be nice.